For · God · so · loved · the · world · that · he · gave · his · one · and · only · Son

Cell - The smallest unit of life.

I had biology lab today, it's not the first time i've seen a plant call or an animal cell before, but maybe because it's the first time under 100 times magnification, I was amazed. We had to observe two kids of cell, 1) A plant cell (from a hydrilla) and 2) An animal cell (from my very own cheek)

After seeing those cells, I was amazed, amazed at how God's so meticulous when making each and everyone of us. I couldn't even see my own cell when i put it on the glass slide...i was frantically scratching my cheek thinking "nothing's coming out, I can't see anything on the glass slide!" finally i decided to give up and just put the cover slip on...and guess what?! Not only did i see ALOT of cells, I was able to see the structures in the cell! I was looking at the smallest unit of MY body, it was a wonderful feeling. I can't stop smiling, and i really wanted to take a photo. hahaha I was so proud of MY cell.

Then I went on to look at the hydrilla cells. I mean most people might think aiya plant cells sure more exciting right...NO WAY. trust me the only reason i was fascinated at the animal cell was because it was MY cell. hahah. The plant cell was amazing. The chloroplast where actually moving around and you could see them swimming! and even more amusing is that because f the cell wall the chloroplast would only swin in their own cell and against the cell wall, the wou't swim out of it. It was one truely exciting lab class, I think i was the only one that felt that way. I appreciated the fact that we didn't have to stare at some some which really looks like a giant monster under the microscope when we did that 2 weeks ago.

Most importantly, after seeing the cells, I am so sure that these beautiful things, small yet consisting of so many structures within themselves, these building blocks of every single life can't just happen with the BIG BANG. I am so sure, so convinced that there has to be someone, someone bigger than life to so meticulously create each and every cell of different size of different structure of different functions that enables us to function the way we do. God has to be real, God's amazing. Man, I love my God!

The Moment of Truth is a game show aired by Fox TV network. Contestants were hooked on to a polygraph during the so called audition while answering 50 questions. Results of the interview would not be let known to the contestant and 21 of the 50 questions will be asked again during the game show. This show absolutely provocative, absolutely absurd, and GWEN SERIOUSLY DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE WOULD GO ON THE SHOW! For half million dollars to get your parents and spouses hurt, to get families broken and to let the world know your deepest DARKEST secret? This show really does not give hope people at all.

Ok..I really don't know why i decided to post this but gwen is just PISSED and OUTRAGED that people would support this kinda show and even find amusement and joy seeing families break up. There's a button where family and friends of the contestant can choose to hit when they do not want to know the answer to a particular question. The button can only be used once. I remembered in one of the few episodes that I watched, the sister of the contestant decided that she didn't want to hear the answer to whether her sister would leave her husband if her ex-boyfriend wanted her back.The moment she hit the button, the crowd jeered - that was how much people don't realised that the game was real, that these issues are not stuff that happen in a drama but something that might break the family up. The husband of the contestant eventually filed for a divorce.

ok i'll end here, if not i'll really just go on blabbering.

Shout-OUT to all : PLEASE DON'T WATCH IT. Ewww 

I've changed over this short year.
Changed. A Lot.
Never ever had I imagined myself thinking of wanting to lock myself up,
Lock myself up in a place where I can be me.
Sometimes the idea of hanging out just drains me,
Because I know if I agree to go out, I am obliged to entertain, to talk, to socialise.

I've began to really love my computer, love the idea of on "socialising" when I want to.
In the cyber world you can choose when to socialise when not to.
In the real world you can't.
You can't choose to drift away into your small world halfway through a conversation; you can't randomly choose to scream and cry in front of your friends. There are just things you can't do.

That's why I appreciate having you guys, because you're the closest thing to that "ideal" hang outs I can have - while meeting up with yo guys I can occasionally choose to escape into my own world and just keep silent in the conversations, I can choose to rant without having to worry about what you world think of me.
I am thankful I have a escape avenue where I can just shae the most bizarre of thoughts, the ugliest side of me and not feel awkward. :)

To the HIEW: If you can find that "paradise" call me, I'll pack and leave right away. haha.

Thanks jealous brudders!

Tears welled up again.
Why?
I really can't pin it down.

It was tears of stress
It was tears of confusion
It was tears of joy that someone found joy in my company

Was it also tears of rejection
Was it also tears of frustration
Was it also tears of bad memories
That I really don't know

But the fact that there's so much more things to cry about,
I am relieved.

Relieved, I am no longer trapped in that small vacuum
Relieved, I am no longer stuck in that cruel place

Relieved.

As normal, justafter Life Group, I always end up going back with a heavy mind (note! not heavy heart but mind)...I'll be thinking about what was shared and how it can be applied to my life and reflect on the past year (trust me i've reflected on this year more than any other wahaha!) and stuff like that. Here's just a random outpouring of my thoughts. Like Daniel, hahaha my shifu in pouring out thoughts, most ppl might not understand fully but oh well...it's kinda not meant for me to spill out to u! Go DAN! WE (plus shawn on the ivle sociology postings) rock!

Peace and Security it was once promised,
Peace and Security I desire.
Peace and Security God will give,
Peace and Security I am working on.

I keep telling myself to just be myself
I keep telling myself to not be afraid
I keep praying to God that He's my support
But when I turn to face the world,
I tremble and hide.

But my God is a God of wonders
My God is a God of strength
My God fulfills all promises
My God embraces me as I.

With God I know I'll survive this world
With God I know I live with hope
Because of Him I dare to live
Because of Him I am happy to breathe.

Life still has it's downsides,
Life still can get tough
People can still be nasty
The world is still mean

But with God I'll conquer it
With God I'll be joyful
I'll Hang on to my Father
I'll Grip and never let go.

I got caught today
"trying to be nothing"

Why not? I thought to myself.
It's because I've had too many bad experiences.

I got caught again
"being paranoid"

Why not? I thought again,
It's because of too many bad memories.

Wish I could be like a computer,
Delete and all will be gone.

Until that happens, it seems like this might last for a long time...

 

When "Sorry" popped on my msn screen,
The first thought that came to me was "Why?"
Why apologise as if you owed me something?
Why apologise when all these years you've done so much.

It's ok dad, it's never your fault, don't say sorry...
It's ok dad, I am already so thankful for a university education

Side Note: If my earthly daddy can love me like this, how much more my heavenly Father who knows me inside out...

I am blessed.

Car door swings open,
Rushes up the stairs.
Into the toilet,
The door slams.

Urgent need? Yes, to cry.

Huddled in my space of refuge
Seeking the Lord the person of refuge.

Quivering as each tear falls
Remembering each tear is precious in his sight
Assuring that "God knows, God knows"

Anger and frustration builts up.
Confusion and sadness overflows.

Wishing there's something to be done,
But she knows. This world is cruel, this world is harsh.
People are cruel, people are harsh.

Selfishness of people stings her.
Lies are like sword that pierces through her heart.

Trust? She is wondering if it should be kept.
Time and again, she places her full trust on People
Time and again, it fails.

This time it failed, HORRIBLY,
The pain is agonizing,
The past, the memories seems more complicated than it was just hours ago

She's been cheated, she's been ripped off
Cheated off her emotions, ripped off her innocence

She's been left in the toilet,
Her only place of refuge
Wounded. Badly.

I feel a Wrenching of the heart,
Not exactly painful, just a feeling that can't be described.

Confused, maybe that's it
Or might just simply be hurt

I tell myself it's not worth it
Then I feel a slap across my face - Maybe YOU are not worth it

I am struggling, every single day

God Help Me.

Side Note: Thanks Daniel, maybe this method will really help :D

Gwen's been having loads of Indian food. hehe. I spent two days at W!ld Rice with my fellow drama project group mates just hanging out and watching pantomimes (ok I dunno how to spell it til now) We watched Cinderel-LAH!, Oi! Sleeping Beauty and Jack and the Beansprout(i.e. TAO GAY) and it's funny :D I've totally fallen in LOVE with Kumar's acting hahaha. REALLLLY, He's hilarious. These few days also kinda pushed my considerations of being a theatre major further. Not confirmed, but it seriously opened my eyes to more theatre stuff. :)

Highlight of yesterday was seriously when Ivan Heng the Artistic Director of W!ld Rice met up with us really unexpectedly, and I was soooo excited I nearly stopped breathing. He's an amazing actor out of which my favourites of his pieces were really Emily of Emerald Hill where he played Emily with much Humour as well as affection and tears. Also he is just absolutely AMAZING in M. Butterfly where he played a spy who dressed up as a woman for years and married a French guy and finally revealing his identity, driving his "husband" to commit suicide.

Hightlight of today was really seeing mr lynn run after bus ten...haha I was laughing so hard in the bus, such an unglam moment, plus he didnt even know if bus ten was gonna end up at vivo. But I had such a good talk with him, he's still the ever so passionate teacher who truly has love for the subject and care for the students despite his SSSSCCCCAAARY front ( I mean arent all discipline teachers like that?). It's just funny to recall that this teacher I am speaking with so casually was actually the same teacher who caught me catching a finger of a friend and actually made us write an apology letter for having physical contact in school. I LOVE Mr Lynn...he's still his same old cute self. He actually took a whole bus ride to figure out how I was going to little india from vivo. hehe. He actually told me he thought I was going to swim there. Ever so adorable! Love teachers like that, truely...

Ok, This entry is disjointed. But that's how Gwen is like when she gets excited! Wahahahahaha!

Alot of times i feel that i mature when i learn something new or go through more trials. But I was juts wondering, going through trials and learning new things has made me aware of a lot of things, some i feel is not necessarily good.

I've learnt through so many personal experiences that some people just can't be trusted and I've even come to a point whereby I've been disappointed so many times that I am so numbed to things. I use to react really badly when a person I have respect for does something bad, or at least disappointing from my point of view. I used to get bothered by things like that. But it seemed like through the years, I just accepted the fact that everyone is flawed, it seemed like even when people i thought i look up to stumbles and does something out of what i would expect to, i no longer feel that affected. It seem very much to me the way humans are made - flawed.

Learning new things about thw world about people and experiencing trials seemed to have made me a more "polluted" person, more accustomed to the harsh realities of life, seemed to have made me lose that innocence I once had.

Is losing that innocence wrong? Gwen is truely confused.

I've been struggling with this for a long time...i think people closer to me would know...I HATE eating my medicine cos eating them might really just make me gain weight and truthfully that's one of my greatest fears. I would really lie to everyone about it me taking my medicine, be it my mother or the doctor...

I got hyperthyroidism when I was 17, it's been slightly more than two years since it was first found out. I am suppose recover by now, but I obviously am not. Believe it or not...this disease was an answered prayer. I never knew that other than the fact that hyperthyroid patients wouldn't gain weight, that there was more to it. So I prayered to God and asked him to really just give me that when I was 14.

Anyway...I was in ENLI today and the topic was on faith and healing. Pastor Charles popped the question, "who needs healing or am suffering from some form of disease or illness", I actually panicked. I know I definitely am suffering from a disease though I really hate to admit it but yet at the same time I felt that if I had raised up my hand and  admitted that i had a disease,  I would get prayered for and God would answer it and I would get healed...And I thought that that would be terrible. I was thinking what if it's just that I didn't want to be healed? But for some bizarre reason...after really panicking for a couple of minutes. I shot my hands up and admitted that I didnt have the most healthy body around. Plus I kinda know people some people in the room know my condition and i felt obliged. :P

As Pastor Charles went on with class, I came to realised that diseases comes from Satan and for that reason, I should do everything to get it out of my body. Plus what struck me was Jesus died on the cross so I could be healed. And that picture was just so vivid. How can I just totally push what Jesus did for me aside? He died and sacrificed so I can be healed...and yet all these times I've been trying to run away from it?!

So I've made up my mind, and decided to blog about it so i'll be accountable to a lot of people...that from today on, by faith I am gonna be a good girl and have my medicine and "by His scourging (I) will be healed".

When you fall out of love, from my own experience, you hate going to the placesyou wer eonce together....you hate seeing people happy with their loved ones...you miss the good old times you had...the worse is when you dream of them at night, dream of the days where you were all jolly ad happy again and the next day awake to realise it's all your imagination...

I HATE dreaming nowadays and I just did last night. I have a declaration to make...

Friutella!!! I miss you!

I dreamt of fruitella again....this time i dreamt I caught the ding dong that stole fruitella away form me...it's all tooo sudden. i didn't even spent 160 days with her yet...Why 160 days? cos fruitella was 160 bucks so until the 160 days are gone that I would not be angry if it gets stolen.... oh...fruitella's my bike btw....

I remembered that fateful day...I was just telling my friend I was missing fruitella 30 mins before I found her missing...groans...everytime I walk back to the place i parked her...guilt and memories would surge back....roar. I want my fruitella back!

Hahahahaha! I had the most interesting encounter today.

My bag was wide open when my newly made friend, Faith knocked her open can of jasmine green tea right into my bag....it was really shocking. for two seconds i just stared at the green tea bloob it's way out into my bag, forming a swimming pool. it didnt occur to me that i must gte my things out of my bag.
 
Haha. Someone just like screamed for me to clear my bag and i started throwing everything out.
And why am i blessed? despite the swimming pool being formed, my files and books and pencil case actually came out dry! hahaha I really didnt know how that happened! and when the drinks spilled my hp and wallet was out of my bag! phew!

What a day! hahaha. Love God for the little blessings in life. :)

And love got for ding dong MABI !!!

I woke up this morning not in the best of spirits...somehow - I had a bad dream and was msging a friend of mine which I really had to control my replies because not nice emotions were stirring up in me...I dragged myself out of the house...feeling really really down...asking God to just give me grace and strength to last the entire day...At that time I was really wondering how I am gonna last that 45 minutes of teaching early in the morning, how was I gonna smile at the kids.

I was just telling ivy yesterday how teaching in this new company just doesn't feel the same, the boss and staff are really nice, but when it comes to the students it just kinda feels different, I used to love and adore every single kids in my class and on Sundays although I really dread going to work, the moment I see the kids running into class, my spirits really just shooot up. :) Here I feel as if I was going throgh a routine, wanting the class to end, the kids are cute but they are just so hard to control...

Anyway I got on the bus for a short trip down to my workplace and when I got off and was walking to work, I remembered how Rachel once mentioned to pray for every student in the class and I started doing that, trying to recall all their names...as I was doing that I was still feeling reallg gloomy and angsty that I have to go through the day... right than , I passed a row of houses and happen to see a little girl in all pink ready for ballet class...as she stepped out of her house with her brother and father (who were in their own little world and totally missed me) I saw my 3 year olf student Glenda giving me the most fantastic, excited and genuinely delighted smile. That smile was so wonderful I really wish someone was there to capture that moment, that made my day...it gave me energy and love to just step into class and give my best to every single kid.

Just as I was feeling really really thankful that God just popped Glenda out of no where just as I was feeling down and gloomy, totally brightening up my day (by a whole lot) I stepped into class started teaching. During the short 2 minutes break I gave the kids, my newest student an Australian girl, poppy, unzipped her bag and passed me a beautiful drawing she drew, it had my name one it. :) I LOVE it when my students doodle for me... :)

My day started off really bad but within less than 2 hours, God sent two amazing littl angels to bless me and to let me know my passion for kids is still right there in me....

I was at FCBC...first time in a loooong time. I stepped in and I was feeling really intimidated. Super high ceiling, new faces, LOADS of them and amazing technicolor screens with cameras rolling...for a momemnt I thought I was at some concert. My heart was racing, I was actually nervous and scared at the new environment I just threw myself into then I remembered, pray...so i whispered under my breath, "God help me, I am here to worship you, nothing else." Then worship started, 2 minutes into it and I was into it, into God...not feeling strange anymore... :) I was pouring my heart out, thanking God for how FC and Every Nation had so many similarities.

I was lifting my hands up high singing "Lord I give you my heart, I give you my soul..." and I started telling God how I don't wanna kepp giving him my heart and taking it back over and over again, that I just wanna submit my life to him. And right after that, Daniel placed his hands on my shoulders, he prayed for me and it really struck me when he said "God heard you calling, God knows you're yearning to be back in His arms and He's telling you that today you're back there again..." I love it when God replies...I love it when God tells me over and over how He doesn't care about your past that every day is a new day...I love it that my journey with Him continues... I love Him...

A entry specially dedicated to my brother. It's a long due entry. So here's to the semi-man I love.

I love it how we had a childhood together, how you just adored being in my dresses :P
I love it how we quarrelled because I loved F4 and you hated them and then quarrelled again when you decided you like them too
I really get irritated and terribly amused at how you manage to catch everyone's catch phrases that easily and imitate with such accuracy...
I really hate how you call my immune system not an immune system.
And I remembered how we just love laughing at nothing even when it's caning time..
I love it so much when u hate it when I say I looooooooooovvvvvvvveeeeeee you....
I am thankful that you get angry at people that bullies me (or so you think bully me)

I still can't accept the fact that you sing better and am still irritated you decided to share a talent with me (dancing was my talent alone u kuku)
I still hate it and always will when u just flare up and shout at people :P
 
What I really love most is that expression on your face when you complain to mom about the illigal stuffs I did and I just totally get by just by acting sweet, innocent and blur :p

I love you, MAN OF THE HOUSE!

"I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body."

For months and months I've been feeling that way...as much as I want to be happy here and be content with life, it seems like a better option to be back home. I would lie on the bed on some nights praying and asking God to take me home.

But I remember ivy said that as long as you're living, God has a purpose for you. And since you don't have much of a choice, might as well make full use of it.

Another encouragement I got was an email from anthony, oh well, I won't call it an encouragement...hahaha. revelation maybe?

Here's a story by joshua harris...
The Room...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read 'Girls I have liked.' I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named 'Friends' was next to one marked 'Friends I have betrayed.' The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird 'Books I Have Read,' 'Lies I Have Told,' 'Comfort I have Given,' 'Jokes I Have Laughed at .' Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: 'Things I've yelled at my brothers.' Others I couldn't laugh at: 'Things I Have Done in My Anger', 'Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.' I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked 'TV Shows I have watched', I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked 'Lustful Thoughts,' I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!' In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.. The title bore 'People I Have Shared the Gospel With.' The handle was brighter than those around it,seemed newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. 'No!' I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was 'No, no,' as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, 'It is finished.' I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.


Gwen really doesn't wanna face Jesus and tell him I can't find that card that says People I've Shared the Gospel with...I am so much more motivated to make the best out of this little life of mine.

Also, I was watching so you think you can dance. and there was this asian girl...anna lee...I think that's how u spell her name anyway....she was involved in an accident while danceing at israel...the dance floor of about 50 people literally fell and there was a whole in the ground. She ended up at the basement car park, 3.5 floors away form where she was actually dancing...she went through plastic surgery adn she's so pretty now. but tt's not the point haha. it's just the way she put it suring the interview, "I am just so happy to be here, so happy to have a nose, a face, and everything"

I was having this huge problem with thinking I am fat cos i've been gaining weight...but after watching that I was like oh my...I sure don't wanna wait til something like that happens before I start appreciating what I have...

Just three more weeks and Sunday's my free day! Just three more weeks and I wouldn't see my ballet student s at Loyang anymore. Time flies...My resignation still seems really surreal to me. As much as I wanna say I am not as sentimental a person as I want to, some small instances today made me sure I was gonna miss my classes a little.

At 2.45pm I entered my first class, a class of 4 year olds. Here's my conversation with one of my students.
(Eda tilts here head)
Eda: eh?
(I looked at her blankly)
Eda: You're in the wrong place Miss Mah.
Me: No I am not.
Eda: Yes you are Miss Mah. You're not suppose to be here.
Me: Yes I am
Eda: I though you were leaving, not teaching us anymore
Me: Not yet...I'll teach a few more lessons.
Eda: Oh...I like you teaching me, but sometimes I don't like you here cos I've got a new shirt today.
Me:??????

I just totally love it, how these 4 yr old kids just doesnt make sense sometimes. hahaha. She's about the most irritating student I have in that class...but she's still terribly adorable.

The second class is the class I have most headache with. Loudest and always quarrelling, complaining...especially the two sisters in the class Shernise and Sherlyn, age 6 and 5 repectively.

Sherlyn: I am very cold! And I don't want your jacket teacher gwen it's too big. I brought my jacket out of the house but I never take it out of the car. I am going to the airport later.
Shernise: Yay, Mommy is coming back from China today!
Me: Mine's coming back tmr.
Shernise and Sherlyn: TODAY!
Me: I said MY MOMMY
Shernise: Ya, but mine is coming back today!
Me: I know, I am telling you mine is coming back tmr!
(and the quarrel continues for quite sometime with the last two lines dominating our conversations) fancy seeing a 20 yr old and a 6 yr old bickering.
Finally Sherlyn decided to barge into our quarrel
Sherlyn: Your mommy is also in China? That means our mommy's are friends!

Yet another conversation that doesnt make sense,  but I just love quarreling with Kids. haha.

Last class for today. Alison came in and I passed her my letter regarding my resignation. She went all solemn and the girl with the most crude and rude comments all of a sudden became really quiet in class...I was so not use to the class being so quiet that half the class I was holding my breath. I knew fromt he start Alison ADORES me. She just doesnt wanna tell me. hahaha...if i ever say that in front of her...I'll get kicked by her, literally. :)

Love teaching love my class.

Hmmmm...this semester ain't going as well as i want it to be...my excuse is that I am highly distracted by administrative works with regards to NUS entry and withdrawal from SIM. But the truth I think is the fact that I am not giving it my 100% im stuck at giving my 75% and it's simply not enough for a summer sem! I did really bad for accounting this time. hopefully i'll do alot better for the rest so i'll pull my grades up. and Organisational behaviour midterm wasn't as good as i wanted it to be. But I'll be catching up. No more staying out wil 12 am or 4 am in the morning anymore. gwen's body is simply not meant to handle that. haha.

I am really starting to appreciate school friends more, other than that crazy bunch of libing and gang that is helping me gain alot of weight,(I bet the are thinking of the other way around) I really am happy to be able to know shaina and hengyi more. I love car rides with them to and fro school, other than the fact that it minuses my travelling time and energy, it's just a joy joy joy joy talking to them about their lives. :)

And yesterday I was just having a great time talking to malorie. We were so into our conversation that even if the teacher was talking about us to the class we wouldnt have known AT ALL. haha. I love it that she understands what i was going through.. It really helps when u know that you're not the only one dealing with things the way you do. It was really a God-given opportunity that I got to sit beside mal yesterday. thanks girl...